K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize