OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize