It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
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well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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