I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
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