Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
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I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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