Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize