oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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