I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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