I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
soo... how was my night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize