The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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