Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize