first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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