@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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