fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize