All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize