god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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