My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize