It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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