So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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