Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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