matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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