just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize