try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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