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  • 64 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 5:35pm

    2:53, all girls do, duh.

  • 54 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:32pm

    so....how are u gonna get rid of the smell? & being in there for so long?

  • 63 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 11:18pm

    my daughter has a tendency to open the bathroom door when i'm "doing paperwork" so i don't have the luxury of trying to hide it.....

  • 51 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 11:34pm

    sounds like a typical high schoolers friday night

  • 50 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:40pm

    well, 7:32, girls can always explain away taking forever in the bathroom. there are a bunch of excuses you could use... the smell, however, IS gonna sell you out lol.

  • 56 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 3:32am

    hahaha together for like 4 years and I still can't poop unless the water is on... hha

  • 53 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 6:45pm

    So pretty much you just made my life!

  • 50 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:34pm

    "I would be honored to take a dump on your chest."

  • 53 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:02am

    If you're taking that long then he is going to know you are pooping anyway., despite your clever attempts.

  • 53 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 2:53am

    does anyone not see the context clues? who texts their friend while shitting telling them about how they're shitting?

  • 51 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 12:46am

    i'm sure he appreciates your consideration

  • 56 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 10:48pm

    I"m glad I am not the only one who has issues pooping in front of the opposite sex. But I just avoid it entirely if I can.

  • 41 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:30pm

    This post kinda puts me in the mood for a blumpkin

  • 47 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:22pm

    God forbid he caught your excretory system doing something abnormal and bizarre.

  • 47 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:55pm

    4:40, that's the dumbest thing i've heard. you're giving yourself away by having multiple flushes AND making it seem way worse, like it's taking multiple flushes to go down!

  • 52 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 3:44am

    1:00 am, I think we can all agree that we almost all do that too. Kudos for being the first brave person to put it in written form.

  • 46 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:20pm

    you could always just turn the water on

  • 40 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:36am

    8:06 Another proud Chicago girl!! 1:00am, I do the same thing! lol

  • 46 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:37pm

    lol Chicago girls. I will laugh if I know her.

  • 45 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:35am

    i'm so proud of you.

  • 38 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:28pm

    poops? as in plural?

  • 39 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:06pm

    us Chicago girls are probably among the classiest in the country. love it.

  • 40 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:24pm

    lol.. thats really funny

  • 41 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:47pm

    i figure if a dude can't handle the sound of me shitting then i can't handle having his dick in my mouth just sayin man

  • 40 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:00am

    haha i do that at school...although it's not with video game sounds, obivously. it's with other toilets flushing, the sink running, or the super loud hand dryer going.

  • 44 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 8:39am

    ahhh. so clever. i'm very impressed.

  • 42 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 5:21am

    hey, i dont see anything wrong with texting on the toilet, the other person never has to know...

  • 49 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:37pm

    Lmao at 7:34 Not Another teen movie ftw

  • 33 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:26pm

    cuz that's not awkward

  • 45 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:09am

    i poop with the door open and my boyfriend laughs when i have diarea

  • 39 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 8:37am

    what's wrong with that 7:17?? as long as you're still going and you didn't touch anything to wipe yet. that would be unsanitary.

  • 44 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 3:25am

    2:53am... at least she was texting and not talking

  • 37 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:21pm

    you my dear are a keeper

  • 35 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 12:06am

    521 - i'm pretty sure the other person knew, dumbass

  • 37 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 9:06am

    1:43; you have NO idea =P

  • 43 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:17am

    ...and you're texting on the shitter...classy.

  • 39 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:22pm

    I've heard of machine gun farts but never machine gun shits

  • 39 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:02pm

    it sounds great only if it splashes

  • 39 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:56pm

    Someone needs to read the kids book, "Everybody Poops."

  • 45 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 4:40pm

    hm when i shit and i dont want someone to know, i just flush the toilet repeatedly so no one hears it and the smell goes away quickly!

  • 39 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:09pm

    lmfao, I refuse to shit at his house. even if he's not listening... it's just weird.

  • 41 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 12:35pm

    thank you for making me laugh at work, giving up the fact that i am clearly not working. :)

  • 34 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 6:29am

    12:09 i'm totally with you. everyone poops, and when you're exchanging bodily fluids with the man, rubbing genitalia, it's time to get over yourself and open the doors...

  • 33 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:27pm

    AHAHAHA I love the OP. Just want to give them a hug and grunt real loud while they're on the shitter. XD

  • 25 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:21pm

    P|-|1R5T!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!!!!!1!!11