I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize