eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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