Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
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Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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