Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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