making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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