no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize