i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize