Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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