I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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