I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize