My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
