Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize