i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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