ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
