How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
