ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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