What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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