It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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