I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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