Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
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I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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