Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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