haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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