My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize