There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize