yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize