My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You can't special order awesome
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Im part way to drunk.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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