Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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